Tuesday, February 16, 2010

The Duel



"No, like, Donald, you're totally not listening. He was like, you dress like a pansy, always talking about your little kitchen trinkets, and I was like, 'you're balding and your wig looks like a robin's nest', and then he called me a 'nanny fairy tee-tee' and I was like, 'hell no' and was already holding the gun cause I was shooting birds, so, it like, you know, just happened pretty quick. Like, really fast. He was totally making fun of me, Donald. You know? Plus Reginald and Barry were already doing a pretty good job of holding him still for me."



Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Cookout



"What do those remind you of, little Bobby?"
"Hamburgers!"
"Well, sure, Bobby, sure, cause they are hamburgers. Of course I would've said your mom's rack, her sun-burnt tits, you know, not that I ever see them anymore, but that's... well... you're probably too young to understand this but when a woman-"
"What are you boys talking about?"